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Monday, June 07, 2004

Monday: Drifting through the day!

Reading my morning e-mails tends to be a highlight of
my day, but today began on a very somber note for me.
Receiving a letter from my father entitled sad new, I
expected it to be on Ronald Regan's death, but instead
it was a note telling me that my Aunt Jerry had died
of a heart attack on her way to the hospital. Taken
back by this news, it took me awhile to digest the
information as it was quite unexpected and shocking.
After taking some time to recover, the next two hours
were spent writing my condolences and sympathies to
the family. Feeling the walls begin to close around
me, the apartment was quickly abandoned for greener
spaces. My first instincts were to go to a Temple and
pray, but my Aunt was neither Taoist nor Buddhist, so
I simply decided to go to the mountains and do some
thinking and internal dialogue. This seems to be my
method of prayer and meditation. Walking for several
hours through the hills, my legs became weak and
tired, and the sun began to peak from behind the
clouds, so it was time to return to the apartment.
Feeling hunger pains on the way home, my first stop
was the market as the Mahwah could be smelled from a
long distance. It was sweet and delicious but not
enough, so I went to the restaurant and had some sweet
pork with carrots and bell peppers. The dish tasted
good, but it was too much food. Seeing the food
reminded me of my Aunt and made me a little sad.
Returning to my room, good thoughts and memories
helped me find a sense of peace. Needing to get out of
the house again, my journey led me to the market to
buy some traditional items in order to mail homes some
packages in two days. My living room is filled to the
rim with stuff. Despite my flirtations with Communism,
no one could deny that at heart, I am a greedy
Capitalist like the rest. The rest of the afternoon
was spent teaching and challenging my students
thoughts. Not sure how well that went, but it was
enjoyable. I am now at home pondering the meaning of
existence and for the first time in awhile feeling
comfortable with both my knowledge on this life and
the next. For my family, find peace in your memories
for it is through them that Aunt Jerry will live
forever. Discover hope in the hereafter for it is in
the unknown that the vastness of eternity seems less
dark. And have faith in the brightness of something
greater for it is in this light which we are freed
from the shackles of this mortal existence. With this
hope, let us all bid the moon goodnight and kiss the
sun in morning. Love,Christopher

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